because i want my pain to mean something.

and i hate being silent.

and because it just feels good!

because…

for the past two years, there’s been a big hole in my heart that can only be filled with words

and because, as audre lorde said (more beautifully than i ever could), “I have a duty to speak the truth as I see it and to share not just my triumphs, not just the things that felt good, but the pain, the intense, often unmitigating pain. It is important to share how I know survival is survival and not just a walk through the rain.”